out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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