The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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