I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
