we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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