some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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