I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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