we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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