So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
