I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
