I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
