If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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