Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you traded sex for a burrito?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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