my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
this is an emotional support booty call
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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