His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The best revenge is premature balding
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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