i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
