quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
