Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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