I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
