I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
