this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
