just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Blood and glitter go together right?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
