god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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