I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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