Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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