I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The uberlube is also flammable
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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