Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Can I color on your dick again?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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