whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
