apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I intend to get homeless drunk
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
