does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
