What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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