my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
