I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
