dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
