I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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