a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
