My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
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One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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