Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize