Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
