Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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