Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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