In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
