Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
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Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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