Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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