these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Come see our sink grown plant.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
