I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
