All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
