i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
