The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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