i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize