I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
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I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
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I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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