it hurts more in the daytime
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize