this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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