Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He shit in the fireplace
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
