In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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