mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
