escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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