I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
