It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No...this little piggys going to the bar
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
