the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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