I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
